The Definition of Insanity

I am stressed. Stressed, stressed, stressed! The boss man has been out of town for the last few days and the phones have been ringing off the hook. Busy is good but I've been putting up with some unbelievable amounts of abuse from two clients in particular. One just cursed at me for not telling him about a server move. Except... I did tell him. And I sent him updates on the progress. And I CC'ed him on all correspondence about the move. I've been bending over backwards to keep him in the loop and act as his advocate during the changeover... and that phone call apparently was my thanks. Talk about a slap in the face.

Ever heard the Ben Franklin quote about the definition of insanity? It is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.

I've been avoiding this blog for the last week and a half. Mostly because I'm embarrassed that I let my eating spiral out of control. I never would have called myself a stress eater in the past but now I think I would have to say that I qualify. I was cruising along on my Project Core and then I let myself get knocked off-kilter.

I'll spare you all the gory details but life & work has been beyond stressful lately. It hasn't just been today. My days are generally busy but much of the last 10 days involves me leaving the house at 7, work-work-work, and then getting home around 10. This leaves precious little time for things that make life pleasant, like sleep and clean laundry. Sometimes my life is just going to be this way. I work for a small firm and there are only so many of us to carry the workload. We all do what we have to.

So where does Ben's definition of insanity come into play?

Looking back over the last few years, I realized that I've been reacting to the stresses in my life in similar and somewhat destructive ways. Did I have a long day full of difficult clients and impossible tasks? I did what made me feel better in the 'right now'. I ate. Of course, I tended to do this a little even when I wasn't stressed to the max. The last several days have really concentrated this type of behavior.

I've come to the conclusion that I need to spend some time thinking about why I sabotage myself and find more productive ways to deal. Until I do that, I won't ever be truly successful at weight loss.

Back to Client Pottymouth. That phone call troubles me for a number of reasons. I won't bother to dissect them all. But... this might well be a turning point for me. Do I react as I always have? Or do I process the event, try to figure out what--if anything--I could have done better and then not let it gnaw away at me?

I'm at an intersection. And this time... I'm taking the road less traveled.